Our Baby

January 29, 2009 (7 weeks)

Tuesday morning we found out that our baby no longer had a heartbeat, had grown wings and left us to be with God. We are filled with grief, but grateful that our baby is in God's hands and surrounded with love.


A heartfelt thanks to all of our family and friends who have consoled us, prayed for us, supported us, and extended their love to us. We thank God for all of you and you are in our prayers daily.


To our Baby,

Even though you were with us for a very short time, we love you more than you can imagine. We know that you are now with Grandpa, all your great grandparents, your cousin, Miranda and all the other babies of our family members and friends that have also gone to heaven. They will love you and take care of you until Mommy and Daddy are with you again.


We would like to share the following prayer that mirrors our thoughts right now....



Dear God,

Please hold my unborn child in your ever-loving embrace.

Please let my child know that my love can't be erased.

Please bless me on this earth and help to ease the pain.

Please plant a seed within my baby's heart of sunshine, not of rain.

Please help the days get easier and the nights go quickly by.

Please hold my hand when I can't do anything- but cry.

Please increase my faith so I believe my baby is with You.

Please forgive me when my sadness makes me come completely unglued.

Please let my baby know that there will always be a place-

Within my heart, just for my baby, full of Divine Grace.

And, when You call me Home to Your Kingdom up above-

Please let me hold the baby- I never held... but, always loved.

Amen.

Ellen DuBois

Positive Pregnancy Tests January 2, 2009

My Family

Claudia drew a picture of her family.

(Dad, Mom, William, Claudia, and Baby due September 17, 2009)

One Word... Yeah, Right!

My friend from House of Blank, who has not updated her blog in the last 24 years, tagged me with this.... and because I am so compliant, I decided to change the rules... a little bit. No one word answers for me!

One Word (make me)

You can ONLY answer Yes or No! You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks!Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the fun (try and stop me).


Kissed anyone of your Facebook friends? Do family member count? How about "Spin the Bottle" in junior high?

Been arrested? Not recently


Kissed someone you didn't like? Yes, there's no need to elaborate.

Slept in until 5 PM? Nope, If I wake up after 5:00 a.m., it's a good day.

Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes, when I was pregnant with William.


Held a snake? Yes, Sebastian and Slinky (I'm an overachiever)


Ran a red light? Yes, but it was orange. I swear, Officer!


Been suspended from school? Nope.... no detentions either.

Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? No. I did smash up the front end while driving the behaviorally challenged kids to camp.


Been fired from a job? Kind of, more like "let go" because they wouldn't work around my high school softball schedule.


Sang karaoke? Never! Listening to this is almost as painful as listening to someone chew gum.


Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Does picking up dog poop in the yard count?


Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes, but it was tuna.


Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes, no calories.


Kissed in the rain? Yes, the kids.


Sang in the shower? Always, it blocks out the screams from the kids.


Sat on a rooftop? Yes, college apartments.


Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? Yes, Cancun 1988. I was the first to get thrown in a pool at a bar.


Broken a bone? Several. My leg in a few places when I was 14 and my toe when I was 38.


Shaved your head? No, but Brian shaved his head.... GROSS!


Blacked out from drinking? Can't seem to remember...


Played a prank on someone? Kathy, do you remember back in 1992 when I told you I tried the meal worm cake at Purdue's Bug Expo and then you tried it.... well, I really didn't eat it!


Felt like killing someone? Not today.


Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes, I'm mean.


Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? Do my hyper children count?


Been in a band? Just air guitar with William.


Shot a gun? Yes, an air gun in Michigan when I was in gradeschool. Oh, and the shotting gallery at Bass Pro Shop.


Donated Blood? No, but with all the blood tests I've had in the last 5 years, it has to be equivalent to several donations.


Eaten alligator meat? Yes


Eaten cheesecake? Yes (stupid question)


Still love someone you shouldn't? I still have feelings for the UPS guy ever since he carried all my Dell boxes into the house when I was pregnant with William. He probably would have set up the computer if I had asked him....


Think about the future? Yes, painting the house and buying a minivan....


Believe in love? It depends what kind of mood Brian's in....(just kidding, Bri)


Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes, when I'm forced to sleep with Brian.

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!!!!

Some times after Christmas (I can't remember the date) we met my sister's family at the Lake County Convention and Visitors Bureau in Hammond, Indiana. Jean Shephard, the writer of the movie, "A Christmas Story" is from Hammond and the center created a display to showcase the movie! It was really cute! Here are a few pictures fom the display....

Matthew, William and Claudia

A Major Award

"The Cousins"

Son Of A Britches

After Claudia's last wellness visit with the pediatrician, she was referred to an orthopedic doctor because her toeing-in issue had not resolve itself from her last appointment....

I scheduled an appointment with the ortho doctor, waited for weeks for the appointment and then finally made it to the office for a 2 minute exam. The doctor said that Claudia needed leg braces to help straighten out her feet and legs. Left the office with a RX for the leg braces and a list of offices that could order them for her.

I took Claudia to one of the orthopedic places that was recommended by the doctor. As we waited in the waiting room, Claudia fell and nicked her head on a chair. After what seemed like a lifetime of Claudia screaming,we made it into the exam room. A rather heavy- set older man wearing suspenders came in to take Claudia's measurements. This guy looked like he had just stepped off his tractor after a full day of harvesting. Claudia was already upset due to the head injury and Farmer Bob came into the room leaving his appreciation for younger children at the door. "Remove her shoes and britches," he tells me. I remove her shoes and britches and he measures her feet and legs. I put her britches and shoes back on and left the exam room.

The receptionist tells me they will call when the braces are ready and "Oh, by the way, you've not met your deductible and the cost for the braces is $597.00". Yippee. That's the same as two tickets to Arizona to visit Brian's Grandma. Thanks for ruining out next vacation.....

We waited a few weeks for the braces to arrive. The ortho place called and I set up another appointment to have her fitted. That appointment was yesterday afternoon. Freezing rain yesterday..... I feel sick and dizzy and don't want to drive yesterday.....

Prior to arriving at the office, I explained to Claudia that she was going to be fitted for leg braces to help straighten her legs so she wouldn't trip over her feet anymore. She told me she never trips and wanted to know if the braces would look like William's shin guards he wears for soccer. She also added that they better be pink or purple or she wouldn't wear them.

William, Claudia and I arrived at the office, waited forever, then finally were escorted into the exam room with a set of parallel bars for the prosthetic patients. They kids eyes immediately light up thinking they have found an indoor jungle gym... Whooo Hooo!

Farmer Bob enters the room sporting a new pair of suspenders. Claudia was sitting on the exam table waiting to be fitted. She took one look at the doofus and frowned. Claudia always has a smile on her face but not for this guy... He began to adjust her braces. Usually, I tend to keep quiet around people when they are working but not this time...

Me: "It appears that her calf is being squeezed into the brace."

Doofus: "I'll just stretch it a little..."

Me: "The bend in her leg is not matching up with he bend in the brace."

Doofus: "Just need to make a few more adjustments..."

This questioning goes on for a short time until he finally admits that he needs to order the next size up. Duh! Way to go Farmer Bob!

Meanwhile, Claudia is stating "These don't look like William's shin guards. They aren't pink. I CAN'T PLAY SOCCER IN THESE!" Not only can she not play soccer in the braces, she CAN'T EVEN WALK! Luckily, the braces are meant to be worn while she is sleeping. Thank goodness!

We make our way out of the exam room and stop at the receptionist where I inform her that I'm not going to give her the balance for the braces until we have a pair that fits. She apologized and we headed out into the freezing rain and drove back home.

Now we have to wait 2 more weeks for the braces and I had to reschedule Claudia's appointment with the orthopedic doctor.

I have to add, that I usually don't get this upset when people make mistakes. I can deal with a second trip to Target because they mischarged me. However, I can not accept medical professionals making mistakes. Claudia was upset about the braces, I was upset that we have to reschedule appointment and delay her treatment (torture). Hopefully, this orthopedic and prosthetic place does not make measurement errors with it's prostheses. Can you imagine an amputee coming in to be fitted for a long awaited prosthesis only to find it doesn't quite fit?

Hopefully our second visit will not be a repeat of the first.

Random Things About Sue Part 2

1. Much to my husband's dismay, I like to use "butt" words. My favorites are "Buttmunch" and "Buttflake". Yes, I do think it's important that my children have a colorful vocabulary.


2. I hate talking on the telephone. Only use it when it's a life threatening situation.


3. I love to mow the lawn. The mower and weed whacker are my friends.


4. When I grow up, or my kids grow up, I am going to be an elementary school librarian.


5. I prefer Hershey to Godiva.


6. My neighbors are perfect. Jeff suggested this....


7. I hate swimming with fish. They smile at me and I find that very scary.


8. It's not my job to replace the empty roll of toilet paper.


9. One of my favorite books is "The Ride of Our Lives" by Mike Leonard. Mike lives in Winnetka, IL. Close enough to stalk.....or at least get an autograph.

10. I've had several encounters with bats in my house. One had the wing span of a pterodactyl!!

11. Aerosol air freshers make me want to vomit. So do public bathrooms and most perfumes.

12. I can only sleep with my feet dangling off the bed.

13. I'd prefer to live by the ocean (any ocean) than by cornfields.

14. My family has a tradition to sing "Happy Birthday" using our worst singing voices.

15. I like vacationing in Hanalei, Kauai (Hint, Hint, Brian).....sun, sand and surf.

16. I have been painting my toenails the same color for the last 10 years.

17. I once had a family of baby screech owls living in my backyard. Brian and I would follow them as they flew around the neighborhood. We must have looked liked wackos running down the sidewalk looking up towards the trees!

18. I hate milk.

19. I have never received a speeding ticket.

20. When pregnant with Claudia, I was dilated to 6 cm (never felt a contraction) for weeks before I was induced. My "real" labor only lasted 1 1/2 hours. A dozen or so contractions, 2 pushes!

21. I broke my leg in 8th grade jumping hurdles. The gym teacher had the hurdles set up backwards!

22. I am a firm believer that sauerkraut and mashed potatoes were meant to go together.

23. I don't have a favorite color.

24. I hate the smell of wet dog.

25. My favorite Dairy Queen Blizzard is CHOCOLATE COVERED CHERRY!!!

25 Random Things About Sue

FYI I've had a horrible head cold and haven't felt like blogging so I decided to cut and paste something from Facebook. Dawn Meehan tagged me with this .... write 25 random things about yourself and then tag 25 more people..... so if you read this, consider yourself tagged.


Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I hate the smell of leather.

2. I fell off a horse once (thanks to Beej) and it still hurts!

3. I prefer beer over wine.

4. I used to teach grade school until I reproduced.

5. I can't type! I'm grateful to Doug B. for pointing out my spelling errors.

6. When driving to work in Indiana, I have almost run over chickens, pheasants and had an encounter with a runaway horse.

7. My house is 120 years old, has the original windows and little insulation
(we're working on that).

8. After teaching little ones for many years, I can no longer spell. Invented spelling has replaced all correct spelling.

9. I have a dog, Sophie and a cat, Rosie.

10. I am a fabulous cook. I can make just about anything.

11. I can also bake. I make the world's best scones.

12. I haven't slept through the night in over 20 years.

13. I get angry easily. My husband would second that.

14. My last name is Knoll (I kept my maiden name).

15. The cold temperatures makes me break out in hives.

16. I dated my husband for 7 years before we got married. Long distance. He was in Antarctica for a part of time.

17. I don't do vomit... ever!

18. My Christmas tree is still up!

19. I am very sarcastic which often goes unappreciated.

20. My kids are funny. They provide me with lots of free entertainment.

21. My kids make me late for everything!

22. I can belch the alphabet.

23. I get distracted easily... now what was I doing?

24. I talk to myself because no one else listens to me!

25. My grandmother made the best stuffed cabbages EVER!!!

Snow Time

Yesterday's Snow Storm

Looking out our front window

Front window again

The backyard


The backyard


Claudia
William


Sledding at Forest Park Golf Course on Tuesday



Ready, Set, Go!!!!


Sprayed with snow!

This is my favorite!!!


You can make it, William!!!

Dusting off....

Happy Mommies Day

Dear William,

For Mommy's very first Mother's Day, you gave me a very special gift. You wrote me a poem. You put the poem on a large poster board and decorated it with photos of you and me. You also put your hand and footprints on the poster. It was a beautiful gift. I loved it so much that I hung it in our library (now the playroom) so I can enjoy it every day. Here's the poem you wrote for me with a little help from Daddy:

From the early early morning

When I first open my eyes

All the way to beddy-bedtime

And my baba ni-night.

My Mommy is the best

You're always always there

You hug me, hold me, squeeze me

And you give me lots of care.

With smiles, kisses and baths

And yummy foods to eat

Songs, walks and laughs

And lots of books to read.

Your love for me is brighter

Than all the stars in the sky

So Happy 1st Mommies Day

From your Little Guy!

Love, William

Good Morning!

Dear William and Claudia,

There's a little song I sing to you every morning when you wake up. I don't know if I heard it somewhere or I just made it up, but it goes like this:

Good morning
Good morning
And how do you do?

Good morning
Good morning
I'm fine how are you?

Do you know what both of you do 99.9% of the time when I sing this to you? You both cover your ears as if I am completely torturing you!!! Never fails.... I still sing it anyway because I like it and I know that you can still hear me even with your ears covered!!!

The other .1% of the time, I occasionally get a smile and an answer!