Happy Birthday To Me

Brian was selected by his employer to attend a leadership development class at Indiana University. He left on Tuesday....

Normally things run smoothly when he is out of town. This was the exception.

It started with William... who woke up and crawled into my bed. I kindly escorted him back to his bed because he was sick and I didn't feel like being coughed and snotted on (yes, I'm mean like that). William wasn't happy, but went back to sleep in his own bed.

Next, Claudia woke up (as in totally alert) at 3:30am and crawled into my bed. She started poking and kicking me. Then she started talking...

With all her jabbering, she managed to wake up Snoopy who began to whine and bark. I let Snoopy out of his crate so he could join the party taking place in my bed. He happily joined in on Claudia's plan to keep me from sleeping. After a stimulating conversation with Claudia, Snoopy jumped off the bed and took off to either amputate a few Barbies or potty in the house.

I managed to drag myself out of bed to search for the amputater. As I hustled down the stairs, I stumbled and slid down half the flight. I made it to the kitchen fairly quickly because I can slide faster than I can walk and shuffled through a puddle of dog pee. Yup, Snoopy relieved himself before I could let him out. Even though he had already peed on the kitchen floor, I opened up the back door to let him out. He looked at me like I had two heads and boogied into the living room. I had to pick him up and toss him out the door. I cleaned up the mess, let Snoopy back in the house and went back upstairs where I told Claudia she was going to go back to her own bed.

Do you know what she said? She said "okay" and grabbed my hand as we walked back to her bedroom. Miracles do happen!!

I actually fell back to sleep with Snoopy by my side until I was woken up a few hours later by William. We went downstairs together to discover that Rosie, the cat, had vomited in the dining room. Just as I began to search for a rag to clean up the pile of regurgitated cat food, Snoopy began to clean it up for me... by eating it. At least he's good for something! As disgusted as I was by his act of kindness, I was relieved that I had less vomit to clean up (I don't do vomit).

Meanwhile, William had woken up very congested and not feeling well. His cold developed into an ear infection which required a trip to the doctor's office and two trips to the drugstore... one for antibiotics and then another trip for numbing ear drops. The earache has caused William so much pain. He has never cried so much... which led to him to vomit twice... once in the kitchen which Snoopy "marked" before I could clean it up. There's nothing like the combination of vomit and urine!

All this chaos took place in this week. Today is Friday and my 40th birthday. This morning I was woken up at 3:00am by Snoopy vomiting in his crate (tossing up the limbs of the dolls he has recently amputated). I tried to go back to sleep but Brian made it entirely impossible by serenading me with God awful noises.

So... happy birthday to me. I hope my day involves a nap and possibly some Valpo Velvet ice cream with hot fudge (got that Brian?) and maybe even a glass of wine (but not the ice cream and wine together... maybe a cold beer and ice cream... just kidding....ewww!). And... Brian, don't forget to hire the cleaning service and personal chef. I'll be waiting for them today.

I certainly hope that this week is NOT an indicator of how the rest of my year is going to turn out. On a positive note, my kitchen floors are spotless due to the constant mopping up of vomit and dog urine and I had several hours of quiet time all by myself this morning! Bring on the rest of the day... and year!