Poems From Claudia

Night Time

 

Sky is dark

Stars appearing

Owl Flying

Mouse beware!

 

 

Bacon

 

Bacon is red

Bacon is rough

But one strip is never enough!

Spring Break 2014

Exploring Ogden Gardens

Road trip to Pokagon with the Bentons

Refilling the bird feeders at Pokagon

Hiking with Matthew

Turtle time!

Claudia and her buddy



Hiking at Rogers Lakewood Park

Playing Legos in our jammies :)

Mornings

Both of my kids have inherited Brian's "I have no sense of time" gene and it's making me crazy! Trying to get them fed, dressed and to school on time, is hell. William talks a mile a minute and "forgets" to eat then cries because he's "starving" Today he serenaded us with, "butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt" sung to the tune of jingle bells. He continued to sing while spinning in circles completely unaware of the importance of putting clothes on for school, couldn't find his shoes and probably never brushed his teeth. I threatened to take him to school in his pjs...he thought that was cool. Claudia instigates and makes things even worse. I finally had it and yelled that I would be waiting in the car. Five minutes pass. No kids. I walk back to the house to find them searching for me. They forgot to look in the car! How I managed 40 fifth graders during my teaching days, but can't manage 2 of my own is a complete mystery to me. Plus this morning's chaos was witnessed by Collin, the bathroom renovation man. Love having an audience when I'm close to a breakdown.

Claudia's Song

Claudia wrote a song the other day while we were running errands.  I found her lyrics stuffed in the back seat pocket of the van.  Her song goes like this....

I love you

You love me

So, let's go and play today

While the heavens are bright

And by the star's twinkling light

So, what do you say

Why don't we go and play today

While the heavens are bright

And by the star's twinkling light

I say we should play

Because I love you

And you love me

So, let's go and play today

In the Closet

Last night, I found my undiagnosed narcoleptic husband asleep on the closet floor again.... lights off, wearing winter boots and layers of clothes.  He claimed to be stretching.

Whatever!

Pinewood Derby 2014

William,

You were the big winner at Pinewood Derby this year. Congratulations and "GO DITKA"!

Still Living in Shitville...

Four days of Facebook Status updates...

Day 1) Still living in Shitville. My sliding van door chose not to close this morning on automatic or manual. At Honda dealer now. Don't worry, Colleen, I didn't lose any of the kids on the way to school.

MY COMMENTS:

• The Guy next to me is cracking his gum and the three ladies (using that loosely) have said "ain't no" and "shit" at least a dozen times. I am surrounded by NW Indiana's finest. I may have to smack this man. Disgusting!
• Now the lady wants to "learn me" how to shoot a handgun
• And the guy is blowing bubbles. I am going to start dry heaving
•  I finally made it home with closed doors. I think it was freak day at the Honda dealer! That guy kept on cracking and popping and cracking... I wanted to smash his face. And there was no where to go other than the bathroom or the kiddie room. I considered the showroom floor, but there were salesmen all over. One of those 3 ladies was sitting on a couch in the most inappropriate way ever... she certainly got the gum poppers attention. Gross, gross, gross! All I want is a few days of quiet so I can finally put away all of my Christmas stuff (tree included).

THE DEALER SAID THE BATTERY WAS THE CULPRIT... IT MUST BE REPLACED AND THE DOORS HAVE TO BE "RELEARNED".  ME-- BUT WHY WON'T IT CLOSE ON "MANUAL?" NO RESPONSE...

Day 2) Today, I am living in the town of Deep Shitville. I dropped the kids off at Art Club this morning and guess what? THE VAN DOOR WOULDN'T CLOSE! Called the Honda dealer who explained the door not closing was all based on the battery (which the turds replaced). I then asked why it wouldn't close and latch manually... she didn't know and told me to bring it back in! I have a freakin' 8 foot wheelchair ramp, that I accidentally delivered to my house instead of my mom's, to move and install today. I don't have time for another trip (with an open door) into Merrillville to sit around with Walmart rejects (see yesterday's FB rant).

Day 3)  Guess where I went this morning? Yes, the Honda dealer again because the same door flew open and won't latch. The dealer is now blaming the cold and the child safety lock. Whatever!

IT'S BEEN COLD ALL WINTER AND THE DOOR LATCHED! EXPLAINED THAT HONDA MECHANIC!

Day 4)  Honda Dealer just called to tell me my door latch has failed all the tests and would be $700 to replace. Wondering why they couldn't figure this out when I told them the DOOR WOULDN'T LATCH on my first trip over there! I am waiting for another quote from Dave's Automotive in Valpo. Should have gone there first!

I TOOK THE CAR TO DAVE'S WHERE THEY QUICKLY REPLACED THE LATCH WITH A HONDA PART ONLY CHARGED ME $450!

Living in Shitville

I just found this magazine order form in our playroom. Looks like my son changed my name to Butt and I now live on Crap Street in the town of Shitville. Can't wait for him to come home from school today...

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow...

William and Claudia,

 

This has been your snowiest and coldest winter ever!  Lots of snow days, lots of two hour delays, lots of icicles, lots of fun! We loved it! Many years from now, you will be telling your kids about the winter of 2014, just as Mom and Dad told you about our childhood winter of 1978-1979!

 

 

Claudia and her neighbor buddy

Claudia and E.

William and the Snow Banks

The Three Amigos at the end of our driveway

Looking out my bedroom window...

Bedroom Window...

It actually got colder than this!

Our house... it's like living in a snow globe

William and Brian playing football

Walking down Walnut Street.
(Photo by Lori)

Crappy ( and Pissy) Thursday

Another fun morning at the Stage house. The dogs refused to potty outside in the rain, the older dog puked up all the birdseed she has been eating from the ground ON MY BED, and the cat peed all over a basket of clean clothes.... I didn't realize this until I pulled clothes out of the basket to get dressed. Nothing says "good morning" like a bra full of cat pee. Looks like my day will be full of laundry. Sigh...