Do you remember the story of the Princess and the Pea? The young lady could not sleep because there was a pea under her 20 or so mattresses that she was "sleeping" on. The pea was put there by a queen as a test to see if the young lady was indeed a REAL princess...
Well, I have had peas under my mattress for a long time.... So long that the peas are rock hard. Granted I don't claim to be a princess, I just can't sleep!
I have had this pea issue since I was in high school. Back in the old days, I worked in the evening at a department store, Crawford's, then came home to a night of homework and studying. After the schoolwork, I would be so wound up that I couldn't get to sleep.
Then there was college and yet more peas... Between the typical crazy schedule of a college student, coupled with roommates (one sleep talker- not mentioning any names) and late night phone calls from a particular boyfriend - "Just got back to the house from a late night of, aah, studying. Yeah we were studying... belch...!" - I can count the number of times I slept through the night in college on one hand - Two! Two nights of non-alcohol induced sleep!
Then I got married and the peas multiplied! Brian, my husband, makes a lot of noise when he sleeps. He has the unique ability to produce noise simultaneously out of every orifice of his body! Not only does he "serenade" me throughout the night, but he is also a bed pig. Which isn't to say he necessarily takes over my sleeping space... he's just taken what used to be mine prior to the marriage.
Because of the lack of sleeping space, I just can't roll over anymore. I have to roll over and scoot myself back to my side of the bed so that I don't invade his territory. Roll... scoot... Roll... scoot.... Why can't I just roll and remain where I am? Those were the good old single days.
Then there are the trains. I hate the trains. Never liked them, never will! They blow their stinkin' horns at every crossing- which I now count and recite as they blow, "Roosevelt, Calumet, Franklin, Washington, Lafayette, ....". Some engineers hush the train horns at night. Some, on the other hand, like to blow the horn as loud as they can for as long as they can.....I know it's just to irritate me......some kind of twisted torture.......as if I ever did anything to a train engineer.
Along with the trains, there's the moaning dog, the biting cat and, of course, the kids. Especially William, who thinks our bed is an extension of his.
Once, out of desperation, I brought the issue up with my doctor........She asked me if I had tried "prayer"as a sleep remedy. I had to restrain myself from telling her to kiss my holy ass. But I refrained from profanity and instead kindly thanked her for the suggestion as she handed me a Rx for a sleep study.
I've tried everything from sleep aids to warm milk( disgusting!), hot baths, earplugs, daily exercise, fans, sound machines, less caffeine intake, a regular sleep "routine" and even a lavender spray for my sheets. NOTHING has worked!
I've accepted that I'm going to have to live my life in a pea-induced haze. I can't get rid of Brian, the dog, the cat, the trains or, of course, the kids..........
That extra bedroom is looking better and better, though.....maybe I'll even soundproof the walls!!!
9 comments:
Wow, new reader to your blog, but I must say, that having insomnia must be tough to live with.
Hello train Horns! I noticed that your website sells train horns for cars... how ironic. Sounds like a great gadget to add to your truck. However, please, pleeeeese don't sell any of those trains horns to reisidents of northwest Indiana. I don't need another reason to stay sleep deprived! LOL
Not even going to comment to the above. All I can say is TYLENOL PM!!!!!
My friend's husband who happens to be a pharmacist suggested Benadryl. I makes me sleepy but I don't stay asleep...
The midwife suggested Tylenol PM when I was pregnant with Claudia and couldn't sleep. I don't remember if I ever took them. Thanks for the suggestion!
I usually just take one, and it kind of takes the edge off:) If I don't have any wine.
Hyland's (teething tablets. etc.) has a Calms Forte that is supposed to help with anxiety and sleeplessness. It's homeopathic. I wondered how that would work.
You poor thing - there's nothing worse than a sleepless night!
What about the sleep drugs that say there's one layer to help you fall asleep and another to help you stay asleep and their not habit forming....I can see the comercial in my head - just can't think of the name of it.
Also, when my mom was going through the change she had a hard time with sleeping and even sleeping aids wouldn't help - her doctor ended up putting her on a low dosage anti-anxiety med and it did the trick! She didn't even know she was having any problems with anxiety, but that little bit of meds helped her tremendously!
Please don't tell me that the doctor who told you to Pray is the person I am thinking of?!? That we both go to......
You worked at Crawfords????? LMBO ME TOO!!! I worked there our Junior year. I was so fortunate (NOT) to work in the bra department! There was this chick who worked with me but I don't think she went to Fremd. Her boyfriend worked in Men's and ONLY because she worked there and he was OBSESSED with her and wouldn't let her out of his sight! Someone who went to Fremd worked in the Junior's department and (SSSSHHHHHhh), we "traded" merchandise a few times. LOL Like when I worked, she would come to my department and get bras, panties, and pjs and when she worked, I would go to her department and get cool clothes! OMG, I can't believe I just admitted that here! I drove by there when I was up there for the reunion and they were closed down. Something else was there instead (can't remember what). They probably went out of business. LMBO
Amy Flippin Blankenship
I don't remeber you working there! Jenny Placek worked in the bra/ panty section too, We used to call it the "shoulder boulder boob holder" section. You know, the old ladies used to come in for a fitting. Yuck!
The 2 boss ladies tried to get me to work in shoes. It lasted a day. I told those 2 boss ladies
(I think we called one Guido) that I didn't like feet and they moved me out!
I worked in the Hallmark section next to the boob holders! How funny!
Don't worry, from what I remember a lot of merchandise was traded at that store!
I think Sear's hardware replaced the Crawford's store. Actually, Sear's may be gone now, too.
Ah yes...I do remember Jenny Placek working there. TOO FUNNY!!!! I remember they had the old fashion cash registers. LOL In the bra section, we had fake boobs in the dressing room for people who had had masectomys (sp)and those fake boobies really freaked me out. I also remember the "boss ladies". UGH...one of them was SO mean!!! Dark hair'd witch! LOL I loved the clothes at that store. Glad to hear there was more "swapping" going on than just with me. lol
Amy Flippin Blankenship
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